The definition of enabling in the Random House Dictionary is as follows:

To make able, give power, means, competence and ability to, authorise. To

make possible or easy.

Now, what does that have to do with drug abuse? After all no one wants a loved one

to do something that would hurt themselves or others. So, how could an individual

possibly enable someone else’s behaviour? Furthermore, why would one want to

enable someone to use drugs? The reality is, this behaviour does occur and contributes

to substance abuse. Denial, enabling and co-dependency.

Enabling Drug and Alcohol Abuse

As stated at the beginning, enabling is defined as making possible or easy. In this

case, behaviours by family members that allow individuals with substance use

problems to avoid the negative consequences that may accompany their actions.

There are many ways in which this behaviour can manifest. In addition, enabling

behaviour can be instigated by various individuals including parents, siblings,

co-workers, supervisors, neighbours, friends, teachers, doctors or even therapists.

Though enabling initially occurs as a way to protect the individual from their behaviour,

it can go on to perpetuate actions that cause repetitively bad behaviour.

Some ways in which enabling takes place are as follows:

• Doing something for another that they should do themselves
• Making excuses for an individual’s behaviour
• Calling the substance abuser’s employer to say the person is sick when they are

          just  high or hung over

• Bailing out a child who has been arrested for possession, use or

          abuse of drugs, or breaking other societal rules Instead of recognising

           the  problem

• the enabler may defend the substance abuser thereby allowing the behaviour to

           continue

• Generally covering the tracks of the individual in question whether it be by

          giving / loaning money, finishing up work.

• Or just generally ignoring behaviours that  should have repercussions.

Usually the enabler stays silent when faced with repeated inappropriate behaviour.

Denial

Denial is when family and friends refuse to recognise or refuse to admit to a problem.

This does not only refer to substance abuse, denial is a defence mechanism that is

utilized when an individual finds the truth of a situation too difficult to deal with.

Most striking in the denial phenomenon is the enabler’s refusal to acknowledge the deterioration of the relationship he or she has with the substance abuser. In fact,

quite often the denial mechanism will continue until it no longer can. Meaning until

something horrific occurs the individual may refuse to acknowledge the problem.

What is the purpose of enabling?

The benefits of enabling are twofold – the individual who is using substances can

continue the behaviour they want and secondly, the enabler does not have to

acknowledge that anything is wrong. This action however, is a short term solution

to a long term problem. Long term, enabling of drug abuse leads to unhappiness

for the enabler and the further deterioration of the individual using drugs.

Another reason enabling occurs is because of the idea of co-dependency

Co-dependency is the idea of being overly involved in another person’s life. Having

constant preoccupation with the other person’s behaviour and feeling unnecessarily

guilty when not taking care of the other person’s needs. This often stems from not

having adequate self-esteem. Some common themes in the co-dependency cycle on

the part of the dependent person are as follows: My feelings are not important, I am

not good enough, I am not loveable, My having problems is not acceptable, It is not

OK for me to have fun, I don’t deserve love, I am responsible for the substance abusers behaviour.

What can I do about co-dependency?

It is recommended by experts in the field that co-dependent family member or loved

ones remind themselves on a regular basis that they did not cause the problem,

cannot control or fix the problem. They need to understand that the only thing they

can do is offer assistance which may or may not be heeded. The co-dependent person

needs to understand that the only person that can help the substance abuser is the

substance abuser – he or she needs to obtain the help that is available.