June’s story (not her real name)

Hi Andrea

Will certainly keep in contact. I have been rushed to hospital on two occasions. Once because I collapsed at work. Staff came in and found me out cold on the floor and they had to get an ambulance out and the next time my pupils dilated. They were sure I was having a stroke and had a bleed on the brain. But all’s well that ends well. Fortunately I am ok but I was told that my stress levels need to decrease!

Now that is a very abnormal thing to say to somebody who is trying to keep a family together. My hubby and I were on the verge of a divorce because he stuck up for my son and didn’t feel his problem was as bigger an issue as Christine and I were making it out to be! “He is just experimenting” I was told? No ways!

He started off with Hubbly, then cigarettes, then dagga and then methacatamine, and you call this experimenting? I took on each and every one of his friends and confronted them individually after I had taken photos of their cars, traced who they belonged to and where they lived and what their movements were. I then grabbed each one as they arrived to visit and introduced myself as the raging bitch of a mother and informed them in the nicest way possible without punching their lights out, that I knew exactly what they were up to and knew who their parents were, where they stayed and their daily movements and if I ever catch them on my property again, I would personally f… them up and then call the police to remove them. I was told by an ex-policeman to put a sign up on my gate saying private property – prosecutors will be arrested, so I did that. Apparently I then have the right to throw them off my property for any reason I feel fit! Two of the youngsters took me on and when I said I would sort them out, the one said “oh really!” I did a very stupid thing and grabbed his shirt and politely told him that at this moment in time, “I have so much f…g adrenalin in me my boy that I will f…k you up before you even realise what has happened to you”!

I am not too sure who got more of the fright – him, me or my daughter standing inside watching all of this on the cameras. I told him to turn around and get in his car before I really lose my temper. Of course they all called Ken to tell him what a f-up of a mother he had. Ken then came in one evening and told me does not want me as his mother any longer and as far as he is concerned, I am dead as I have f…d up his life and chased all his friends(?) away. I tried to defend myself to make him realise that I did this because I cared and loved him. I cannot tell you the abuse I got.

I lay awake the entire evening and gave his comments a lot of thought. I blamed myself for everything and decided that I must be a useless mother and I didn’t deserve him. I called him the next morning, told him that I apologise for f….g up his life – to which he replied “it’s about time you apologised and I hate you!” I said you are right and from this moment don’t call me Mommy. If you want to ever say anything, you can call me June or pig or dog or whatever makes you happy. You can do whatever you want, you don’t need to let me know if and what you do or let me know if you will be home late or even if you will be returning again. I will not be cooking, cleaning or supporting you in any way either. I am happy that you still have your father who stands by you, no matter what, so I am happy you will have a support structure.

That was two weeks before Christmas. He packed some clothes and apparently went to PE with his “friends” and I never heard from him for just over a month. Christmas was a very difficult time as it was the first Christmas alone after losing my Dad and now I didn’t have my son either. I found out via an old friend of his that he was ok, as he and this youngster used to be very good friends and when he started his nonsense, he stopped being friends with him. Not sure how I would of managed if it wasn’t for him.

I don’t think I have ever cried as much as I did, but I decided to give him his wish and try forget about him. This in turn caused major problems between my hubby and I, so much so that I had divorce papers drawn up. I don’t know if Peter (my hubby) told Ken and something changed. Christine was doing everything possible to get out of the house and was also very seriously thinking of moving. My whole family fell apart. I hit a severe depression and wanted to take my own life. All I can say is thank goodness for my daughter and my best friend.

Ken came in one evening and said he would like to talk to me. He broke down totally and said the hardest thing he has had to deal with ever in his life, was me disowning him. He had a horrible Christmas and realised how much his family meant to him. I had cut him off completely. It broke me into pieces but I had to do it to make him hopefully realise what his bad choice of friends was doing to his life.

Slowly but surely we have all come together as a family again. I still keep a very thorough check on his eyes and I go thru his room every now and then. His attitude towards me has changed and I feel he has more respect for me than he ever had.

I truly hope he will keep himself clean because I don’t think I could go thru this again.

I hope you all have a great year with lots and lots of positive happenings. I can only thank you all for listening and making me realise that I was not alone. You all gave me the strength to carry on.

Please send my regards to everybody and thank you again.

You are a very special group of people who deserve all the happiness

Lots of love